I started planning the book I’m writing over a year ago. I was in a writing group and was working on a “practice” novel when the idea came to me. I knew that it would be the type of story that I’d eventually want to share and perhaps publish. I actually began working on it in January, but the more anal retentive part of my personality (I was an Accounting and Finance major in college after all!) decided it would be best to study more about the writing process itself first.

I completely threw myself into learning more about the craft. I read books on writing. I began keeping a writing journal. I spent several weeks doing character sketches and “interviews” in an effort to get to know my characters better. Finally, I read. A lot. I re-read some favorite novels, this time taking notes and highlighting things that struck me. I also started reading new authors, often noting how he/she developed the story.

With my daughter in pre-school and my husband’s erratic work schedule, I knew that any real work would have to begin this past summer. By the end of June, I had an outline and a rough draft of the first chapter. Throughout July and the first half of August, I wrote several more chapters. Problems set in, however, when I went back to review everything.

There was something wrong with what I had written.

I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something didn’t feel right. I started to lose confidence. I put my story aside for a couple weeks, completely disheartened and fearful that perhaps I was in way over my head.

Then I reminded myself that I am a writer and this is what writers do. They start stories and re-work them over and over again until they know they have something good. I also reminded myself that I may be a newbie at writing fiction, but I have written oodles of other materials over the years. I know when something’s wrong, when an idea isn’t coming across as well as I’d hoped, and I know how to fix it.

I forced myself to re-group and go over my materials again. The story wasn’t terrible; I had just started it in the wrong place. Nothing changes, not even much with the outline. It’s just a matter of letting go and allowing the story to unfold in a better way.

So here I am, starting over again. Or maybe it’s starting over-ish. I’m still loving the story and having fun, and in the end that’s all that matters.

“Beginning a novel is always hard. It feels like going nowhere. I always have to write at least 100 pages that go into the trashcan before it finally begins to work. It’s discouraging, but necessary to write those pages. I try to consider them pages -100 to zero of the novel.” – Barbara Kingsolver